Being a total bitch

I have to get some things out of my head and typing them seems to be the best idea. First of all, Project Runway. The final three designers are Helen, Bradon, and someone else I don't even remember because I usually get bored and turn off the tv before the end. Anyway, Helen, what the fuck?? I've read that participating on a reality show is physically taxing, but the girl looks like she was buried two weeks ago and just dug up. Zombies are in and all but please. She is what happens when the creamy-skinned brunette look goes terribly wrong.

That pale, muddy skin stretched out over her emaiciated frame, those cracked lips from which only mean things come, this must be some sort of Halloween-themed plant. I ache to spray-tan her, give her blush and pink lip-gloss and ten BBQ dinners. There are always a couple of designers on the show with questionable personal styling choices (Gretchen's red lipstick springs to mind) but this is a distracting disaster.

Dom, on the other hand, is a dead ringer for Dora the Exploer all grown up and sophisticated, as one would expect after all that exploring, no? Oh yes, that is the other finalist and I imagine will be the winner. Alexandria Von Poopy-pants was the most classical fashiony, but she is out. I liked her last gothic butterfly dress and would wear that to get married in. If I were getting married to Doyle from the Misfits, which I totally would based purely on physical attraction. Not many tall, muscle-bound, age-appropriate goth guitarists out there.

Call me!

More bitchiness! Yahoo news decided to tell me that Gina Gershon was transformed into Donatella Versace for a new film. Well, I had to check that out. Guess what? Donatella may have somewhat resembled Gina with a long blonde wig sometime in the early 70s, but not since. In fact, Donatella is a great reminder to women of all ages to quit smoking and stay out of the sun, and eat sometimes otherwise your skin may disintegrate like hers. Millions and millions of dollars can't fix that. You may as well plop a curly wig on Natalie Portman and say she is me!

Whew, I feel so much better and can now go about my day only thinking positive thoughts, mostly involving naked Doyle. Mmmmmmmm.

Speaking of Christmas, this was horrifying!

As if Project Runway wasn't ruined enough by Gretchen's ugly clothes for the farm, now there appears to be an actual trend of clunkiness! This year's clunkiness is comparable to the hideousity that was Doc Marten's in the 80s and Crocs clogs for far too long so I guess we should be used to the ugly shoe trend. So sad, in a season that is meant (by my decree) to celebrate sleek, shiny, maybe even sparkly shoes but never ever shoes that one could wear to happily walk through manure in. Poo.

Happy Birthday Heidi!

After checking out the stats showing where my blog views come from, I was happily surprised to see a lot of other countries, Poland, Iran, Latvia and others. So hey if any of you are also blogging shoot me a comment so I can check out your blogs too, it doesn't have to be a nice comment ( but that will help its chances to be published haha). Thank-you all for taking a peek.
Now, onto Project Runway. Why oh why are they allowing Gretchen's awful and weird Chico's style clothes a show and rejecting Michael Costello's awesome Copper Cher Collection? So, part of the finale I can't wait for, sort of, is going to be wasted on her lame-ass old-lady hippie stuff. I've been watching this show since the beginning and it never fails to disappoint. At least Heidi Klum finally pushed those hideous bangs to the side and hey, there is a gorgeous woman under there!
In workout news, had a good one, Pilates was first. It reminds me a lot of yoga but not as challenging. There is soft music and the instructor leads you into positions that get difficult quickly but somehow it just seems easier then yoga did. Maybe its the lack of positions on the wrists. Anyway, got abs done there and took Spin after. Coming home to my peaceful house and some wine was wonderful. Good night all!

Heidi Klum was confused on Project Runway

First, she introduced the models who were all wearing insane cococtions on their heads as wearing hats. Hmmm, looked more like flying saucers had landed on their heads and it was going to be the Sci-Fi Challenge, which maybe it secretly was. Then she said that famous hat designer Phillip Treacy designed hats worn by the most beautiful women in the world, such as, wait for it... Sarah Jessica Parker and Lady Gaga. Huh? SJP and Gaga are famous, and good at what they do, and fashionably quirky but included among the most beautiful women in the world? Please Heidi, I don't even include you on that list. This sort of thing is very subjective; when there is an actual beautiful person near you, you know it because it is as if they are some completely different awesome species. Selma Hayek and Iman come to mind. The show wasn't a complete bust however, at least Evil Gretchen landed right in the middle- ha-ha!

Who let all these cats in here?

Having two doesn't qualify as cat lady status- and they do match the interior design but damn. I'm starting to think that all this tuna and cottage cheese I've been eating has made them see me as another one of them. I was moody as hell yesterday, summer doldrums have hit and all I need now is the Hurricane show on for a week or two. for those of you who don't live on the coast, the hurricane show is when there is activity in the tropics and all day and night the news stations show footage of past storms interspersed with dire warnings about the one approaching and encouraging everyone to get their butts to the grocery stores, Lowe's, and the gas stations to fill er up. It's sorta a back-to-school ritual around these parts. At least Project Runway is on tonight, maybe Bitchface Gretchen will design something awful like that dorky jumpsuit and get kicked off. Ooh, then who will I hate? Hmmm

Wait, that is tomorrow night, can't keep these shows straight.