Monday, February 13, 2012

Anxiety Day

I'm having a bad nervous type of day. Procrastination has been my middle name for a while now and there is a lot of stuff I need to do that I've avoided. I need to buy Applecare, learn how to use the new camera I ordered, reserve a room for the race next month, possibly buy new running shoes, open the stack of bills that just came in and pay them, do my taxes, and probably more stuff I've forgotten.
What is holding me back? Fear. I hate fear. Fuck fear! That and not enough confidence in myself that I will do these things correctly and make expensive mistakes. I need to make a list, get out my reading glasses (another reason I put things off, the very fact that I need theses kills me) and start checking things off the list.

I could lift tonight or run and have this day2/ the weekend off from lifting. Will update when I decide. It is wonderfully cold outside. Edit to add: I ordered Applecare and reserved the room, both were as much as a project as I expected, especially trying to work and take calls coherently while typing in numbers. More to do but at least those things are handled.

Update: I gave in to mental breakdown day and did not work or even go out at all. I went to bed early and may double-dip training sessions tomorrow. Shapes, which is where I think my mom works out and wants me to go tomorrow, said on the phone that they have the sliding up and down barbell thing where i can do all of my lifting. That sounds like a Smith machine to me, so it looks like I will be using the treadmill while with Mom, and then lift later that night at my gym. The gym-girl on the phone was funny tho, and assured me someone would be there to show me how to use it- the Devil Machine!

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